How to find your soulmate among the crowd

Who doesn’t want to find their soulmate? That special person who is invisibly tethered to us through the machinations of fate or unseen physics. Where you’re so destined to be together that you almost don’t have to worry about how to find your soulmate because some force will inevitably bring you together one day.

It’s somewhat incredible, but we forget how many unseen forces govern the world. What supposed mechanics it operates by remain a mystery, but it’s obviously convinced a few people as about 60% of US adults firmly believe in soulmates¹.

What it means to find your soulmate

There are many schools of thought for people asking themselves “How do I find my soulmate? How do I find the one?” That special person you‘re not just meant to be with, but that you’re inevitably destined to find. Your hearts reflect each other. Your personalities, dreams, desires and souls were designed to fit together like pieces in some complex puzzle. 

Another take is that a soulmate is more about finding your perfect match through work and a bit of luck. This manifestation of a soulmate can be transitive, covering multiple super highly compatible past relationships that endures in your search for how to find a soulmate.

A more spiritual subset of soulmates is the concept twin flames. This is the belief that partners shares one soul with them mirrored back towards one another. These couples feel such a strong connection that it transcends human intimacy to them. They believe that by better knowing their partner, they simultaneously trigger a process of self-discovery.  

How to find your soulmate

Whether you believe in fate or pragmatism, it’s difficult to ignore the value of nudging things along a bit on your end. Here’s how to help finally answer that one vital question, who’s my soulmate?

Step 1: Deeply consider what you’re looking for in your soulmate

What does a soulmate relationship look like in your head? Focus on the ideal personality, what aspects you’d want in common and what you’d prefer to be your part of the dynamic. How do you want them to make you feel emotionally? 

Tip: To get a better idea of this, try journaling, which can create a more complete picture of your relationship goals. You can also hone your natural intuition by practicing mindfulness and getting in touch with your creative side.   

Step 2: Put yourself out there

It’s easier to figure out how to find your soulmate once you have a somewhat solid notion of who they are. You get an idea of the kind of places they’d frequent and ideal contexts to encounter them in.

Tip: Try to accept more invitations and explore activities you’ve been interested in, but have been putting off, to encounter new people. Socializing more widely can also help boost confidence and reduce approach anxiety when you do find your potential soulmate². 

Step 3: Be patient

Don’t lose hope in the dating scene and wonder, “How will I meet my soulmate?” while dating the wrong people. Give it a chance while still staying true to yourself. Be patient and learn to enjoy this part of the journey.

Tip: Try reserving judgment. If the first date doesn’t work out, maybe give them another chance. Soulmates aren’t always revealed immediately. Dating selectively helps too, which you’ll be able to do intuitively as you date more.  

Step 4: Be present when the moment arrives

This isn’t just about knowing how to find your soulmate, but also, it’s about how you react when you think you already have. There isn’t always that instant lightning spark. If you think there’s a chance, don’t let it pass you by. 

Tip: Start a conversation with them while fully present. Make eye contact, put out positive body language and listen actively. This will impress them and put you in a better position to figure out their soulmate potential. People generally don’t like being assessed so avoid conveying that in the conversation.   

Step 5: Once you find your soulmate, treat them right

Finding your soulmate is not the end of your journey. It’s closer to the beginning. Just because you’re perfect for each other doesn’t mean other relationship problems disappear, like past emotional baggage and certain intimacy issues.

Tip: Once you start dating, try to build healthy communication channels, avoid placing too much expectation on them (which happens with soulmates) and work on building a solid foundation of trust. Never rush the process.

How to know if someone is your soulmate

You’ve been spending time with a crush recently. You both seem to genuinely enjoy each other’s company and you feel like there’s much more profound chemistry at play. But how do you know who your soulmate is in this frantic dating culture?

Realizing that someone is your soulmate can sometimes be a more gradual process as they slowly reveal deeper aspects of their inner self. A clear sign is effortless, almost instant intimacy and rapport. They’ll feel oddly familiar to you, as if you’ve already known each other for years. This indicates a high degree of personality compatibility.

Your deep connection will often make intense empathy more immediate and sharply felt, almost as if their pain is yours. This is the part when you no longer need to wonder how to find your soulmate but rather how to handle these new feelings. Because it can be scary until you’ve grown used to it and learned to appreciate the true depths of your connection.   

Ultimately though, once they arrive in your life, you’ll know deep down in your gut that this is something different. Your heart will recognize this spiritual bond you’ve made.

Can you have two soulmates?

Strictly speaking, no you can’t have more than one soulmate if you look at the basic concept.

But love, connection and fate are not basic concepts. A study of married couples who held a soulmate theory versus a work-it-out theory found that it resulted in very high levels of relationship happiness and greater resilience to relationship problems when people believed they were with their soulmate. If they didn’t, they conversely displayed high sensitivity to relationship strife³. So, while our brain can’t quite accept two soulmates existing, it can accept it was wrong initially.

So, in the instance of losing someone you thought was your soulmate, consider that you may have lost them to eventually make room for your true soulmate; they were just a beautiful, poignant chapter in your story. Unless you lost them to a tragedy, in which case we’d say even the most vindictive universe wouldn’t want you to be alone forever. One would imagine these energies realigning as you progress through life.

And if you’re saying to yourself, ‘How can I meet my soulmate again after losing one? I don’t deserve so much luck.’ Consider that perhaps it’s not luck at all, but the way it was always going to happen.

Finding a soulmate after 50

Is there still room for a love story later in life? Could your true soulmate be waiting this far down the line? Of course. Love is famously bad with schedules. But we often lose our faith in concepts like soulmates and become jaded by romance as we age. And you can’t figure out how to find your soulmate if you don’t believe in the idea itself.

If you’re worried about how fickle fate can be, you should know the numbers are on your side too. A study found people over 50 accounted for 16% of all first-time marriages in the US in 2019, a number that’s doubled since 1990⁴. So, with the single population over 50 in the US sitting at over 11.5 million⁵⁶, there’s no shortage of potential soulmates out there. And we’re pretty sure the picture is pretty similar in the UK, Australia, and Canada – you just have to get out there and find them.   

If you’re asking yourself “How will I find my soulmate after 50?” know that one of the biggest hurdles for older singles is meeting new people. Here are some tips for that, where you might meet your soulmate along the way.

• Reconnect with old friends
• Get your existing friends to help set you up
• Try to elevate some of your colleagues and acquaintances to friendship level
• Take a more senior group tour trip and see the world
• Volunteering puts you in touch with a range of people across many age groups and cultures
• Take the lead and organize a get-together for your old friends
• Try your chances with online dating
• Pick up a new hobby and join a hobby group, or attend a workshop on it

Learn how to find your soulmate with the help of technology

Whether you believe you’re destined to find and share one soul with someone, or if you think that as magical as love can be, it’s a gift you’ll have to work for, you still have to figure out how to find your soulmate in the world.

They could be online, in a supermarket, or living in another country; only fate knows. However, eharmony is here to help fate along by only connecting you with compatible singles looking for something real too. To give your soulmate journey more reach. Register with eharmony today. You never know who’s out there right now.